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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Screenwriting Prompt - You're Breaking Up

By Amy Robinson and Jonathan Davis

One of Writing Pad's teachers, the amazing Jonathan Davis, has
created today's writing prompt. As a successful, working screenwriter, Jonathan wrote the script for the Dukes of Hazard movie and earned a 2 picture deal with Warner Brothers! (Scroll down to read all about him.) We are very lucky to have Jonathan and his knowledge of the movie industry and screenwriting craft at Writing Pad this winter.

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Jonathan's Writing Prompt: Write about the moment of your worst break up in scene form with dialogue. What happened at the moment? Were there any memorable things said? Add a sensory detail to it (smell, taste, sound, touch, sight), then write about it for 10 minutes. Post your break up story in the comments of this blog.

Comment on this blog! What happened during your character's worst break up?
Post your 10 minute write in the comments, and you could win a free class!

About Jonathan Davis:
Jonathan Davis has been a working screenwriter for over 8 years. In 2002, be received a two-picture deal from Warner Brothers based on a writing sample. One of those films turned out to be Dukes of Hazzard. He’s written comedies, action and thrillers for Universal, Sony, and the Cartoon Network. He’s a member of the Job Factory – a team of comedy writers who’ve written two projects for Disney and have other projects in the works. He’s also written for comic books and TV. He's taught classes in screenwriting and transmedia (storytelling across multiple platforms) for Columbia College (of Chicago).

3 comments:

Todd said...

Bob and Anna are taking acid for the first time. They are in the bathroom of a friend’s house, Anna is getting into the shower, Bob is sitting on the closed toilet.

Anna:

“oh...wow...this shower is AMAZING Bob. You HAVE to get in this shower...it feels like...it’s like electricity.”

Bob:

“Be careful...electricity and water is bad.”

“Nooo...it just feels like electricity...silly...it’s SO AWESOME. I really needed this shower. What are you doing out there anyway, Bob?”

“oh, nothing...just sitting here.”

Bob is looking at himself in the mirror.

“You’re not looking at yourself in the mirror are you?”

“No...no..I’m just sitting here. Just...thinking...hey do you hear that?”

“What?”

“music. It’s coming from...”

Bob puts his hand to his hear and listens around. He puts his ear up against the doorknob.

“it’s coming from this doorknob.”

“I don’t hear anything...just relax....just enjoy it. You should really get in this shower!”

“I’m enjoying it...I think....no I don’t want to get wet. That sounds awful...no thank you! I’m good out here.”

“What’s wrong with you Bob?”

“nothing...I mean...I don’t know. Is something wrong with me? ”

“you’re acting weird.”

Bob is half way listening to her, still looking at himself in the mirror. Playing with his face as if it were made of rubber.

“I am?”

“something’s wrong with you...oh...I know what it is.”

“huh?”

“It’s this isn’t it?”

The room is now filled with steam, and Bob can barely see her through.

“What is it?”

“You know what it is. Look..I’m sorry...I was going to tell you, but...I wanted to wait...but now the cat’s out of the bag. I was with Jim last night. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. I didn’t want you to find out this way, but I guess it’s obvious now. I was so pissed at him when he gave me this hickey.”

“Hickey? What are you talking about? I can’t see you through all this steam. You did what?

“oh, I thought for sure you saw this huge hickey and were wondering what was going on...I know...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep with him... I feel awful.”

“I didn’t see a hickey, I was listening to this doorknob. You slept with Jim last night? Really? I don’t know what to say...I can’t process this...”

“Well stop freaking out...it’s not a big deal.”

“Freaking out? I’m not freaking out. Am I freaking out? Couldn’t you have told me this before we took the acid? or tomorrow? I mean why right now? This is the worst possible time to tell your boyfriend you slept with someone else!”

“Look...I’m sorry I told you fine. We can talk about it later. just forget it.”

“How am I supposed to forget something like that while I am on Acid!”

“I don’t know Bob, listen to the doorknob some more.”

Bob is in shock. He looks at the doorknob. He wipes the now foggy mirror and looks at himself. After a long uncomfortable silence he says:

“Hey how much longer do you think this is going to last anyway?”

Julie said...

Interior, scruffy diner on a grey winter day. Worn Christmas decorations hang from greasy stained-glass lamps. Pictures on the wall are wrapped up like presents. Sitting alone in a booth is Andie, sweet, distracted, hands wrapped around a steaming mug.

Waitress: More coffee?

Andie: Oh, no. Thanks.

The Waitress moves to the next table as the front doors open. Alex breezes into the dining room, all blond hair and white teeth, ducking his tall frame under a hanging snowman. Andie stands up to hug him.

Alex: It’s good to see you.

Andie: You too.

Alex: So, did you get my package?

Andie: Yes, it was lovely. Thank you. But I said no gifts this year.

Alex: I know, but I couldn’t help myself. I just...

Andie: Please, Alex.

Alex: So, how was Christmas?

Andie: Fine.

Alex: What did you get?

Andie: Alex, I didn’t drive all this way to talk about what Santa put under the tree.

Alex reaches into his pocket and places a small box on the table between them and flicks it open. The people at the next booth take notice.

Alex: Your real present. It was my mom’s.

Andie: Alex, no.

Alex gets down on one knee.

Andie: Stop. Please. I can’t.

Alex: I thought I gave you enough time to think.

Andie: I have. You did.

Alex: So let’s just do this. I love you and I want to be with you forever.

Andie: I love you too, Alex, but not like that. Not like forever.

Alex: But...our kids.

Andie (getting angry now): We don’t have kids. I don’t have kids.

Alex: But...your family. I love them. They love me.

Andie: My family. Not your family.

Alex: You can’t do this to me.

Andie (standing up): I can, and I am. Alex, this is me...

Alex: But Andie. What about all of our plans? What about the future?

Now every neck in the diner is craned, watching. The waitress walks up with her coffee pot, oblivious.

Waitress: More coffee?

Andie: No! No, I do not want more coffee. And no, Alex, the answer is no. I do not want to marry you. I do not want to be the mother of your children. I do not want live in a house with a white picket fence. With you. Or your dog. Or your...or your....goldfish. It is over. We are over.

She stomps out of the diner, snowmen and Santas swinging in her wake. As the doors slam behind her, she leans back against the wall and laughs, then bursts into tears.

Jim Gillett said...

Nonette- "Why can't you see that I'm just trying to be civil for the both of us."

James- "Forgive me if I laugh when the same person who is using the word "civil" is the same one who is dumping me to go back to her ex WHO just happens to have a fiance he is getting married to in less than a month."

Nonette -"God dammit I knew you weren't going to make this easy. I've never me a man so addicted to drama. You're, You're like all the friggin Kardashian sisters all rolled up into one.

James- "This coming from the Christian purity Queen. "I wan't to wait till me get married, Jim" Then you tell me you slept with Wilson just last week. How could you?"

Nonette "I can't explain it. It was OK because we truly love each other and I am convinced God wants us to be together."

James (Lauging)- "I just love how God gets to cosign your own bullshit Nonette. You can't even see how crazy you've become.

Nonette- "And what about you, using that credit card you got on campus to pay for a limo, diner atop the TransAmerica building followed by a helicopter tour and you make what 7.95 an hour working part time at the school library.

James- "Some girls would have though it romantic but you just focused on how unpractical it all was." You always sucked the fun out of everything."

Nonette- "Then why do you want to be with me?" "You don't understand that I want to be with Wilson."

James- "I understand more than you think. I understand that were both crazy in our own ways. Fucked ups like us should be together. Water seeks its own level babe. Please stay."

Nonette- I just can't James. In any group, for it to survive, someone has to be sane while the others are crazy. That's why alcoholics have AA and crazy people have groups because they give themselves the best chance that someone will be thinking rationally. You are right, we are crazy, we are the Supernova, white dwarves of craziness and we would just tear each other apart from the gravitational collapse of our own insanity."

James- You're probably right, it's just hard to except, its hard for me to except anything that hasn't followed my plan, even the laws of the universe.